Shadow Work Through a Behavior Analytic Lens

Turning Toward What We Avoid

By Vanessa Bethea, M.A., BCBA, LBA, LBS

In spiritual and psychological spaces, shadow work often refers to the process of exploring the hidden, rejected, or suppressed parts of ourselves; specifically, the traits, emotions, or memories we’d rather not face. These shadows can act as setting events, shaping our actions, relationships, and even our patterns of self-sabotage.

But when we view shadow work through a behavior analytic lens, we see it not as mystical or abstract, but as a functional process of observing and describing private events (thoughts, emotions, sensations, memories) that have historically been avoided and then learning to respond differently when they arise.

Defining Shadow Work in Behavior Analytic Terms

From a behavior-analytic perspective, the shadow represents the covert behavior we’ve learned to avoid due to its association with punishment, extinction, or negative reinforcement. For example, if a person learned early on that expressing anger resulted in rejection, the verbal and emotional behavior of acknowledging anger may have been suppressed. Over time, this avoidance becomes automatic and maintained by immediate escape from aversive internal/external stimuli.

Shadow work can be conceptualized as the deliberate exposure to aversive private events to serve larger values. It involves contacting previously avoided contingencies and relearning functional, flexible responses when those private events arise. Essentially, it’s a process of increasing psychological flexibility over time.

The ACT Framework: Acceptance, Awareness, and Aligned Action

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) provides a behavioral roadmap for shadow work. Rather than seeking to eliminate or control unwanted experiences, ACT teaches us to make room for them by observing, naming, integrating them, and moving toward what matters.

Acceptance

The willingness to experience internal discomfort (the “shadow”) without attempting to escape or control it. Behaviorally, this decreases experiential avoidance and increases contact with private stimuli. For example, noticing the rise of shame without withdrawing or suppressing it is a form of acceptance in action.

Defusion

Defusion allows us to see our private thoughts as just that, thoughts, rather than literal truths. When we detach from the rule-governed behavior of “I am bad,” “I am unworthy,” or “I don’t deserve love,” we create the space to act in new ways. By detaching, the role of our verbal behavior shifts from controlling our interactions to guiding them. When we unhook from the rule-governed behavior of “I am bad,” “I am unworthy,” or “I don’t deserve love,” we create space to behave in new ways. The function of this verbal behavior changes from controlling our interactions to informing them.

Present Moment Awareness

Shadow work requires presence. Mindfulness enables contact with the current environment, both external and internal, rather than reacting to historical contingencies. Through awareness, we notice when avoidance patterns are being reinforced and can choose alternative behaviors.

Self-as-Context

In ACT, we differentiate between the conceptualized self (our stories, labels, identities) and the observing self (the steady awareness behind all experiences). Shadow work encourages us to connect with that observing self; to witness, rather than become, the painful content that emerges.

Values

Values give shadow work purpose. Behaviorally, values can be conceptualized as motivating operations that increase the likelihood of engaging in challenging but meaningful behavior. When we do shadow work in the pursuit of connection, healing, or authenticity, discomfort becomes data, not danger.

Committed Action

The final process involves rule-governed and contingency-shaped behavior aligned with chosen values, even when the "shadow" arises. This is where transformation becomes observable: showing up differently, communicating more honestly, and choosing compassion over defensiveness.

Doing the Work: A Behavior Analytic Approach to Integration

Practically speaking, shadow work from an ACT-informed perspective looks like:

• Identifying avoidance patterns. Notice which private experiences (emotions, memories, urges) consistently lead to escape or avoidant behaviors (e.g., disengagement, leaving, etc.).

• Observing functions, not forms. Instead of labeling something “bad,” ask: What function does this behavior serve? What is it helping me avoid or gain?

• Fully engaging with your private events. Use mindfulness or journaling to connect with sensations, emotions, and thoughts as ongoing behaviors, not static traits.

• Practicing acceptance. Willingly stay in contact with discomfort long enough to realize it can be tolerated.

• Acting on your values. Choose behaviors aligned with who you want to be, not just what feels safe in the moment.

Reflection Prompt

Take a moment and reflect on this:

• What internal experiences have I been avoiding that continue to influence my behavior?

  ◦ When that emotion, thought, or memory comes up, what do I usually do to escape it?

  ◦ What might it look like to gently turn toward it instead, allowing it to exist while I move closer to my values?

  
  

You don’t need to fix, solve, or eliminate anything. Instead, observe, notice, and let the thoughts pass by. Shadow work isn’t about perfection; it’s about being present.